Walking With Dinosaurs: The 3D Movie Review

Walking With Dinosaurs: The 3D Movie was made as a tribute to the critically acclaimed 1999 six-part BBC series of the same name. When the movie was released on Dec.20th, 2013, it was met with poor reception. Critics praised the CG quality and the 3D effects, but disliked the use of voice-acting. Many called it an "insult" to the original series. Despite all of this criticism, I still watched the movie. Now that I have the full details, let's take a look at the movie and see where it went wrong.

Plot summary:

WARNING: This summary contains spoilers. Do not read if you do not want to know the plot.

Two kids are traveling to a fossil dig site with their uncle, who is a palaeontologist. The older teenager doesn't care about dinosaurs until he meets an Alexornis named Alex (John Leguizamo), who somehow tells him the story of Patchi (Justin Long), a brave Pachyrinosaurus that lived in Alaska 70 million years ago. When Patchi was young, a Troodon grabbed him by the frill with its teeth, and left a hole as a result. (This hole comes into play later on, though I don't find it important enough to be mentioned again in this summary.) Patchi quickly befriends Alex, and, as he grows up, he clashes with his older brother Scowler (Skyler Stone), and falls for a female pachyrinosaur named Juniper (Tiya Sircar). His herd begins migrating south for the winter, and during that time, a forest fire happens, and the leader of the herd, Bulldust, who is also Patchi and Scowler's father, is killed right in front of their eyes by Gorgon the Gorgosaurus. The two meet up with Juniper's herd during a predator ambush, and all three end up on the beach with a herd of Edmontosaurus. The ceratopsians eventually return to their herd, where they continue to mature. Scowler eventually challenges the herd's current leader, Major, in a headbutting contest, which Scowler wins. Scowler takes Juniper as his mate, and eventually makes the mistake of leading the herd to a frozen lake, where they all would have died if Patchi and Juniper hadn't lead them to shore. Scowler, out of jealousy and fear of losing his position as leader, battles Patchi for the herd's leadership. Despite his best efforts, Patchi loses, and ends up trapped under a tree. Patchi gives up all hope and prepares to be eaten alive by scavengers, but Alex convinces him to try again. Patchi frees himself from the downed tree and fights off his adversaries before returning to the herd, only to find Scowler being overwhelmed by Gorgon. Tired of running, Patchi saves his older brother from being eaten and inspires the herd to fight back against their natural predators, with Gorgon losing some teeth in the process. He is crowned leader of the herd by Scowler, mates with Juniper, and becomes a father. Back in the present day, the teenager becomes inspired to have more interest in dinosaurs, much to the enjoyment of his uncle and little sister. Alex cues for the screen to fade to black, but not before Gorgon returns to roar at the audience in 3D. The credits then roll and are accompanied by beautiful dinosaur artwork that I simply cannot get enough of.

My opinions:

Oh boy, where do I begin? First off, I was not expecting this movie to be so....er.....childish. The plot is nothing special (why exactly does Patchi need to become a hero, anyway?) and only has a few good moments, the voice actors aren't too good in the delivery department (except for Leguizamo, who voices the best character in the movie, hands down), the script is atrocious, there's no explanation as to how dinosaurs are able to telepathically communicate with each other (or why only four of them can do so), and the movie is never really scary or loud, which I found incredibly jarring. I mean, these are dinosaurs we're talking about. Shouldn't they have been a little louder and more frightening to thrill the audience? Additionally, whenever a new dinosaur or creature is introduced, the movie will pause and a young girl with an absolutely dreadful voice that lacks any sort of emotion whatsoever will tell you the animal's name, what it means, and what it eats. Alex also gives you an in-depth look at a Gorgosaurus, but spends way too much time on his tiny little arms and doesn't really give you any memorable information. I was wholeheartedly disappointed that the producers decided to cater to a much younger audience, instead of the millions of fans that grew up with the original series, myself included. On the other hand, the CG quality is amazing, with the dinosaurs appearing in real life scenery for a realistic experience, the music is thrilling and includes some nice vocal tracks, and the 3D effects are pretty impressive. But good presentation can't make up for what is otherwise a dreadfully one-sided movie that will only appeal to young folks. If you're between the age of  5-10, you'll probably enjoy this movie a lot, but if you're a teenager or an adult, then you'll probably come away unimpressed.

Final score: 6.5/10
This movie had a lot of potential, and should have been a great success. But whoever decided to bring voice actors in should have been fired immediately. By the way, the bonus 0.5 comes from Alex's quirky jokes that I personally find amusing. The Alexornis is also really cute.

One more thing: After meeting Juniper for the first time and falling in love with her, Patchi says what's probably the worst line in the movie: "She likes me! And she likes my hole!"

I expect that to become an Internet meme before the end of 2014.

Well, that's all for today folks. Please, share your thoughts on the movie in the comment section, and tell me if this review was helpful or not. In the meantime, keep an eye out for 3 upcoming Lego Star Wars set reviews on my blog. Goodbye everyone, and may you all have a happy 2014 with your family and friends. Ciao!